And Then One Day

And then one day…you are laying on the bed with your grandmother. Just hanging out and chatting. She says in the most serious of tones “Dear. It is time to start guiding Girl Child 10 toward a career”.

I reply “I am encouraging her art Grandma, she is amazing, check out her pics”.

I show her all kinds of GC10 art. She is blown away, but she is adament there is no money in art.

I explain I am 46 (she had 4 grandchildren at my age) and I am still trying to work out what I want to be when I grow up.

We laughed!

And laughed!

GC10 is going to go through more jobs in her lifetime than I have, and I have had a lot of jobs. Art, in the digital age might mean illustrating an ebook or creating characters in a game.

Grandma was a farmer. I asked her what she wanted to be when she was little.

And she said a mother of six children.

And then this day…I understand. She was lucky. She achieved her goal at a young age, then worked in order to maintain that goal. Her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are all influenced by this amazing woman (I secretly hope one of the eldest pops out a great-great before she leaves the earth, but the over 18s think I’m nuts, even though their parents were mostly under 25 when they were born).

But, she wasn’t only a farmer. She was a business woman, an employer a great wife and mother. She had the sense to buy a property “in town” when Grandpa’s work took him there every month.

I know our chats are going to end soon. 90 is a bloody good innings, and she is almost ready to retire. If her influence and guidance sees me be half the woman she is, I will have achieved a full life.

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Where does the time go?

Who knows?

I am trawling through my email and found a question from my blogging guru “Can you believe it’s the end of January already?! How has the start of 2019 been for you and your blog?”

The short answer is “terrible”. I haven’t blogged for such a long time.

So, I considered;

  • do I need to set some intentions for 2019?
  • should I add some blogging to my schedule?
  • why do I blog?

Then I answered myself, because you can do that shit without looking like a nutcase when you are sitting home alone in front of a computer.

Intentions for 2019

  • keep calm and say no if it is going to stress me out
  • write a draft wedding ceremony at least one month prior to each wedding
  • keep asking the universe for the type of work that makes me happy- I have successfully been manifesting contracts which enable me to work from home and make me feel like I am kicking goals
  • work my marriage celebrant business and make it brilliant

I will add some blogging to my schedule, but the hard thing about blogging for me is it is usually a knee jerk reaction to something which pisses me off, something I am really impressed about or occasionally something that makes me sad, so saying I am going to write something daily, weekly or monthly might not work for me as I don’t want to get around pissed off and sad all the time.

I blog because I find it fun. I love to have an opinion or make some kind of comment which resonates with my community. That is why the knee jerk reaction is a fun place to start. I find it incredible that I have followers from all over the world and love to see that they have read my posts. Right now I am blogging because I am procrastinating.

So, 2019, I have already missed blogging in January due to being an awesome work from home mum who has been there for her kidlets. This is my first blog post for the year. I have been working my business and I have just signed up with a new contract doing stuff I really like.

Bring it on! Blogging or not blogging 2019 is going to make me happy!

Dear Nanna

Dear Nanna R. As I cleaned our home this past week there were so many little reminders of you. My fun fruit bowl and other ornaments you made for me in ceramics needed dusting, I found cards with your writing on it and this photo just popped up in my Google Drive while I was doing some work. I don’t wish you had lived longer as your life was full and your body was worn out. We miss you and shed little tears of love when we talk about you. You really were a great Nanna xCopy of 20150810_100050.jpg

Straws Suck

I have a new hero. Her name is Molly and she is a GC9 from Cairns.

Her Straw No More campaign is admirable to say the least.

We humans are not looking after our home. We are not keeping it tidy and it has to stop.

Sir David Attenborough knows it. Craig Reucassel knows it. Molly knows it. We all know it, but a huge amount of our population ignore it and do not take responsibility.

It kind of reminds me of BC7 when I yell at him for not picking up after himself. He usually responds with some excuse like “I’m just a kid”. He is. A kid who needs me to keep nagging him to look after his world. I don’t care how old or young we are, we need to look after our planet.

I challenge everyone to think about the amount of rubbish we create. How can we reduce waste? My latest home campaign is a war on cling wrap. Leftovers are stored in containers with lids.

I take my shopping buggy to the farmers market and have to continually say “no thank you, I don’t need a bag, I’ll put it straight in here”.

Supermarkets in Victoria will be plastic bag free later this year. They did it years ago and consumers kept buying bags instead of bringing their own until the supermarkets caved and brought them back.

Get organised, be conscious of your actions and the big dirty footprint you are leaving on our Earth.

Get yourself a reusable coffee cup. Put it back in your car after you wash it.

I put the straws we inevitably end up with through takeaway drinks through the dishwasher and re-use them at home.

Refuse the plastic cutlery. Re-use the takeaway containers and then recycle them.

Oh, I could go on for days about this.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Be kind to our planet.

Stay Kind

Remember a time when the family you were born into basically spelled out your occupation?
Of course not, that thinking is a thing of the past.
Surnames explained to the community who you were. The heritage of the name Smith was a metal worker. Representing our family was a thing. This could cause some to under or over achieve, but it also helped embed respect into our culture.
When I consider our influence on our kids I think that as long as we are kind and try to be decent humans then we are doing all right.
Our family members influence the activities we do, the sport we play, which teams to love and hate. They shape our expectations. Mum went to Uni, so I’ll go to uni. Mum sat on her arse all day drinking coffee and eating Doritos, then that’s what I’ll do. Our family members worked in a theatre, a CEO, a shop assistant, owned a business, was a crook and a thief…the list goes on.
Do we teach our kids to cheat? Do we teach them to be fair winners and losers? Do we teach them to swear? (I think I am excelling at this one by the way). To drink? To party? To play sport? To be gamers? To be good at school?
We were taught that cheating is unacceptable. Always play fair. Lose with grace and congratulate your opponent and cheer them on.
Being different is what shapes the world. And different is a good thing. But if different makes you an arsehole, then please don’t be different.
I saw a wonderful visual on Facebook last week about the core of all religions. I wish I could find it again to share with you. They all want us to be nice to one another and ourselves. Pretty simple. Shame those religions forget those core principles and continue to fight with each other, but hey, when humanity clues on that we all want the same thing they may stop the wars.
This week we have seen Australia very ashamed of our cricketers. What un uproar this is causing on social media. No Aussies like a bloody cheat. Or do they? Where did they learn it? What made them do it?
This week I have also seen a pic of a mate who was bashed by youths. He is in hospital. I just don’t understand what the actual fuck makes these people inclined to do such a thing. Rest up and get well soon my friend.
Bottom line is we learn a lot from our family. It might be a family recipe. How to grow a garden. Clean the house. It could be how to change a tire (I was blessed to drive dad’s old ute when I got my licence. I could go nowhere before I checked the oil and water, cos that old girl leaked like Mater out of the Cars movies). We may be influenced as to which corrupt political party to preference in our votes. I hope we are teaching our kids financial literacy, digital literacy and how to live and learn in a world where changes happen in the blink of an eye.
I dread to think that our children have to see such shitty behaviour in our world.
Stay kind my friends xx

2017

Registered Marriage Celebrant

Today is the last day of 2017. A time of reflection.

My year has been one of amazement. I am amazed I have survived. I am amazed my family have survived. There have been times where I would have liked to stab Dear Husband in the eye with a fork. There are many mornings where Girl Child 9 and Boy Child 6 have copped an earful of swearing fit for a pirate ship. But for the most part we have had a good year.

I look back on  posts such as Cows, God and Lego and I realise that I was on a journey that I hadn’t consciously chosen at the time of writing. In this post I wrote of forbidden opinions never to be said out loud. Lucky I wrote them down.

I wrote that it is great to have ceremonies for births, deaths and marriages it helps people cope. I am unsure if this blog post helped me to tread my new path, or whether my subconscious had already begun treading it. Regardless, I am now a Civil Celebrant who can perform these rituals.

What else have I learned by reading my past blogs?

  1. Sometimes I am too gutless to publish my posts. I have 4 drafts sitting unpublished. Perhaps I am not gutless but trying to please everyone which has prevented me from spewing my opinions on the world. Either way, I have sat on my hands with these 4 and saved you from reading them.
  2. I really like good customer service. I really do. I have had minimal arguments with my DH this year. The one’s we have had have been about his embarrassment that I am not afraid to speak my mind when expecting exemplary customer service. He would prefer to shut up and be fed shit. I would prefer to speak up and be treated like I should be.
  3. I am a product of the 70’s. However I am rather judgemental of people who smoke whilst people are eating or anywhere else that they shouldn’t (in 2017). Don’t get me wrong, I love the odd dart. In fact I am secretly inhaling DH’s second hand fumes as I type, wishing it was my mouth on the other end of that butt.
  4. I am passionate about Boobs. No, I don’t go around perving on them, but if you wish to flash those puppies in public go right ahead. I will cop a feel for you if you are unsure of a potential lump, because that’s what friends do. Please check your boobs ladies, this shit saves lives.
  5. Accept the things you cannot change. Back in January I wrote about grieving those who still walk the planet. My heart has healed somewhat since I wrote this post, but the scar is still a little itchy. I have no control over the situation, therefore I must Let it Go.
  6. Menopause is a force to be reckoned with. The hardest part was realising that I was a nasty bitch and nobody liked me (OK, that is a bit harsh on self), another thing was finding out how it affects my health. Getting the balance right comes down to diet and self management, both of which I seem to have a handle on.
  7. Arsehole is another word for Good Parent. I am a Good Parent!
  8. Love your family. The best thing that happened to our marriage this year (apart from my awesome clinical psychologist) was a game of football. I hate football, but I love my husband. Seeing him run onto that field as an old man (Sorry DH, but you were 46 on the day) and sustain a hamstring injury made us laugh, made our kids see him in a different light and generally made us all feel good.
  9. Life is amazing. Choose Life. Stuff happens that make life a challenge, but faced with the facts of how different life would be without me or any of you, I choose life. Sometimes it is a near miss, like I had, that make us reflect how our little and extended families would feel if we were taken from them. This is what I tell myself when the black dog nips at my heals and I feel like everyone else would be better off without me, when I am too scared to try something new in case I fail, when I understand that I am not my parents and never will be, when I listen to my husband and understand his point of view, when I give my kids time to be kids, and the list goes on.
  10. I am Amazing. This year I studied to become a Civil Celebrant.  As I said at the beginning of this post, I was on a journey this year. Becoming a Registered Marriage Celebrant has made be look within, not only at how I feel about marriage, but also about life in general. Life is full of wonder. Life is full of challenges. We only get one chance at life and we should make the best of it

I have done a lot of self improvement this year. I got treatment for being an arsehole menopause. I got even more treatment for my fucked up head (you would think I could sort this shit out after 26 years since diagnosis). I am proud to have forgiven those whom I thought I never could, this includes myself. Thank you Mum for this gem “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it”-Mark Twain (although the internet is not sure he wrote it).

Forgiveness has granted me freedom.

Much love from me to you as this year comes to a close. Happy New Year!

More About Menopause

As much as I was happy to never ever have another period.  I have found yet another piss off factor when it comes to menapause.

So far I have been told to just accept I’m overweight, cos that shit happens. You can’t do much about hot flushes. This is not true, my acupuncture and Chinese medicine has that under control. You might remember me writing about that in Madly Menopausal Mum. I work really hard on daily meditation and mindfulness so as I am not a fucking screaming lunatic with the potential of becoming an axe murderer. Visits to a clinical psycologist also keeps me grounded.

But now I have been told I have high cholesterol. Like always, I have taken to google to find out what the fuck that means for me as the doctor hasn’t got time to explain that shit. The first thing that struck me is how all the images of menopausal women are of  ladies much older than I. Not sexy rock star young chicks like myelf. The next thing that struck me was…

Guess what?

Few women know that there is a direct link between cholesterol and menopause.

This is life threatening stuff. Given I have family history of heart disease I wish someone had told me this a couple of years ago. You can Read more here.

As usual I’m trying to find the silver lining in this dark cloud. So here it is. I am going to live on water and lettuce leaves. The lettuce will make me skinny. I will then get buy new clothes as I threw all the others out when I was told to accept being chubby.

Just joking. Red wine, dark chocolate and small handfulls of nuts are also on the menu. I suppose I will survive to see my kids grow up. That is as long as I remember my mindfulness and don’t become that axe murderer.